It Can Be Fought

April 23, 2006 at 11:33 AM (Abuse, Assault, Resistance)

discussion of the issues surrounding the Duke rape case made me wonder…why is it so hard to believe that assaults do occur?

A friend of a friend was a victim of sexual assault, physical abuse and breaking and entering…not once but several times. Because of this I told a friend… “I like **** and would like to invite them over….but I have to take responsibility for my own safety…and this nut who is attacking your friend could track them here and do some damage, so your friend cannot come and visit here.”

It was very tough to get a restraining order written, but eventually one was put in place. Prosecutors initially persisted in seeing this as a lovers quarrel gone wrong, not something that needed legal intervention. The friend had a tough time getting law enforcement and prosecutors to believe in these assaults because the assailant and the friend had previously been in a relationship…

In addition it was very difficult for this friend to stick to their guns and stick with the truth when someone they had loved was dragged in front of attorney, trial judges, placed on probation etc.

The assailant threatened this friend’s life in front of witnesses while out on bail, and tracked them to a new home (they had had to leave their old home because the assailant knew where their home, their friequent hangouts, and their place of employment was.)

Since I was quite removed from the events, I could look up advocacy networks, etc send a few emails, and get resource information tailored to this friend’s situation…I passed the information on during a careful, non judgemental rational conversation.

The friend of a friend took this information, and used it, and had a support network of advocates that helped them through charges, arraingment and the jury trial.

The assailaint was convicted on four separate charges….and three good things are happening now…

The first, is that the friend of a friend can get a better nights sleep now.

Symbolically, yesterday, they went kite flying for the first time in their lives, raising a banner in the spring wind.

And the third is, they’ll be by for dinner in a couple of weeks.

It can be fought. And victims can win.

2 Comments

  1. Gimpy Mumpy said,

    Isn’t it amazing how public opinion/misperception this kind of abuse muddies the legal waters?
    I hope this will be a fresh start to a new life for your friend. They are fortunate to have someone as supportive and resourcefull as you to help.

  2. Gimpy Mumpy said,

    Isn’t it amazing how public opinion/misperception this kind of abuse muddies the legal waters?
    I hope this will be a fresh start to a new life for your friend. They are fortunate to have someone as supportive and resourcefull as you to help.

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