for asking that PWD play PWD on tv…..
and also assumes that there is a universal reaction of able bodied people when confronted with a disability.
He and the writers know what you know about Mr. Fox and how you are naturally inclined to feel about it — that condescending mix of sympathy and pity and discomfort that any disability brings out in those not directly affected by it.
What a complete load of crap. Certainly there are able who feel those things, but not every able reaction is either that annoyingly passive agressive or that on the far side of benign. Reactions range from open acceptance to revulsion, and targeting for violence and everything in between. Lazy writing
Would have been a good article, but for that sentence. I feel sympathy pity and discomfort for the writer.
For those unaware, the family of a teen with severe autism got a letter telling them they were unwelcome in the neighborhood because of some effects of his disease, and in fact had no right to live in such a neighborhood, that in fact parts of his body should be donated to science and that the family should move or kill their child for the comfort of the writer of the letter to the left, signed “One Pissed off Mother.” Here is my cleaned up no-cursewords response.
To “one pissed off mother.”
You do realize, don’t you ma’am that you and your children are one car accident away from possible quadriplegia? One stroke away from similar debilitating physical changes, and/or cognitive deficits? That you could be the mother of a child with disabilities as soon as tomorrow?
Young Max does the best he can with his autism. Just as, I’m sure, your lovely children do the best they can without it.
Would you expect something so completely foul to be slipped under your door, should the symptoms of any complex impairment you or your children might acquire become noticeable to the wider world? Would you expect that your neighbor might suddenly declare you unwelcome? Would you be pleased to comply if someone said the following about your child, if the child became disabled?
“Personally, they should take whatever non retarded [sic] body parts he possesses and donate it to science. What the hell else good is he to anyone!!!” the letter reads. “Do the right thing and move or euthanize him!! Either way we are ALL better off!!!”
I think not. I think you would hope for the kind of support the rest of the neighborhood is giving Max and his family right now, since you put that hateful excuse for communication under their door.
I’m not ashamed to say, I hope you are found. I hope you are outed and have to answer for every single word of this offensive letter *in public* in front of Max’s family.
This is regarding someone called Artemis of the Wildland in Portland Oregon who believes the disabled should not vote or get benefits and should be paraded in front of their neighbors for an up or down vote as to whether they’re really disabled or not:
Apologize for the separatist tone, but this hacks me off,.I’ve got a few thingsT I wish I could say to this Artemis of the Wildland character:
If I lived in Portland, I’d be making a flyer myself that said “Come to my house and say that shit. Right to my face you coward.” These **s are such spineless losers themselves.
I mean this so much. Have the guts to tell me to my face my neighborhood ought to judge me and determine whether I’m fit to get benefits…or vote?
Without the benefits I’d save the country a buncha money by dying quickly I suppose.
Sorry to inconvenience the benefit paying system but I’m not ready to go just yet.
I worked amongst you able for a long time and kept up and in some cases surpassed what you did. I would have been “entitled” to those benefits at 18 because at the time cerebral palsy itself was enough. But my family wanted more for me…so I went to college and worked and married, same as many of you.
Now. I Can’t. Work. Nobody should intimidate those like me in Portland or anywhere else in this country if we have the temerity to get and stay visible…by voting.
This Artemis is one sick fool and needs to be found…by law enforcement if necessary.
Persons with disabilities (henceforth abbreviated PWD’s) get really dumb stuff said to them by the able all the time. But this one takes it.
An associate of mine was struggling with life responses that they themselves were suffering by (in other words their own choices), but also dealing with a bunch of stuff that wasn’t their fault. An able bodied spectator of their life’s drama said, and I quote:
“You know I really don’t understand why you don’t just shoot yourself in the head.”
That, of course, is the ugliest version of “I could never live like that.” or “I’m not good with sick people,” etc.
First shut your mouth unless your actual intent when you got up this morning was to devalue and terrify an associate of mine.
Second: And I’ll say this slowly so that any able bodied slowcoach who says these sorts of things can clean out their ears or take some hangover remedy and listen.
Yes, you could live like that. Yes…you could. Admitting “I’m scared of living like that,” now that’s more like it and we can begin a dialogue there. How many of our veterans are dealing with PTSD or TBI? Or How many car accidents cause radical alterations in the way those injured in them have to manage their lives?
A just as flip, unhelpful nasty answer to the “shoot yourself in the head,” remark, might be a slow smile and a “You first…:).” [In my days of newsgroup flamewarring I might have said just such a thing…] But a better answer is “Because I still have stuff to do.”
Yeah, it’ll get done by methods and ways that some able can’t begin to think about…but it’ll get done.
Thirdly, there are folks who at one time or another have real, searing suicidal ideation. Do you with that earnest statement (it wasn’t a joke, I was there) want to encourage their own vulnerability and fear about what they are experiencing? Don’t put a thumb on the scale unless you’re really fine with learning a particular friend checked out early. Because I know I’m not.
And the, “I’m not good with sick people,” thing is just a cowards way out, frankly. Let’s say you have a friend. And they are going through things that make you sad, or angry or frightened. You don’t have to get in there and ‘suffer’ with them 24/7 because they’d just as much rather hear about the news, or pop culture, or family stuff or gardening, in balance with being able to air what’s going on with them.
It’s difficult certainly but it beats leaving the party early.
I’m on crutches, or my wheelchair, a heavyset gimpy broad going to work a long while ago, when I still could. I was an entry level “adjuster” at a health insurance co, but also a person with a masters degree. I always seemed to land in an elevator while the top brass were discussing some (non secret, not necessarily too evil) business process…and so naturally I’d chime in with some ideas of my own.
Invariably, they’d give me the “Who the f**k is this disabled woman and why is she talking?,” look.
Some might say “Oh, really?” with a vacant smile that meant the same thing…
After about six of these run ins, I couldn’t stand it. Gave my idea, got the WTF look and said in (what was, quite frankly, an arrogant Cleopatra-to-an-unruly-pesant sort of tone):
“Not only can I talk…But I’m *funny* too!”
Naturally, there was dead silence in that elevator until I reached my floor.