Celebrating their success is a great thing. You get to hear about how people you like and people you love got to do what they were meant to do and excel at it. You can laugh over their stories you can feel the pride of accomplishment. And if you are a person without children that pride and accomplishment has to go somewhere else so… If you have other relatives or friends who you are proud of who do amazing things if you take time to celebrate that you get positive vibes out of it yourself. I have two family members I’ve been watching with pride since they were children and I continue to get great joy out of watching them succeed.
But. In this world where we only put our best foot forward on social media , if you see someone successful you’re only getting that successful side to them, and you get a misleading picture that that’s the only part of them. And if you have disabilities and medical challenges and body issues, I’m not going to lie it’s very difficult to celebrate someone who appears at first glance to be perfect. Able-bodied good looking with the perfect career. You work to maintain that supportive stance with them and it gets harder. Until you’re open with each other usually on a one to one basis and you realize that that perfect person on Facebook isn’t. They’re struggles might not be your struggles but they do have them. they have cracks in the armor. There are bad days for them. Its not that you’re happy to see the bad days , it’s that being human has to show through. When you see some common ground it is easier to love the uncommon things they do.
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This last Saturday would have been a wedding anniversary for me. There was an odd moment of serendipity because I went to church Saturday. Before the service there was a wedding. The guests had all cleared out but the wedding party were still in the process of taking some pictures. The groom looked happy a little bouncy on his feet, and the bride was wearing a beautiful simple dress.
It took me back, but it also made me stop and think how lucky we are, each wedding we attend, each holiday each reunion , each christening. All those positive reaffirmations of who your family is and who your friends are. They may or may not live close by they may or may not be related by blood. But a lot of us have these times to come together and celebrate. I just couldn’t stop thinking how important these times are in general. Certainly I thought of my own wedding but I was really focused on the broader concept. Take time to celebrate whenever you can.
Comments here will be closed on new posts going forward. Friend requests can be sent true my facebook page if you know my name. And would like to leave a comment. I encourage any and all who can to leave comments on Facebook as I will be sharing these posts to Facebook. I thank everybody for their dialogue over the past 10 years. See you over on Facebook.
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beginning to understand. I am white, I recognize that I have white privilege. I will say that ever since Travon Martin, ever since Ferguson, I have come to the realization that I had a general dictionary idea of racism in my head. However, it wasn’t immediate. It wasn’t present in my head in a specific way.
I did have a different childhood than most of my suburban counterparts. I went to an integrated school for people with disabilities, and I hope that in my individual case that might have helped the way I relate to and think about people who are different from me.
I also want to say that I don’t write this post to offend or protect my tender feelings. But after so many dash cams, so much riot gear, so much excessive force, something I would never expect to experience in my life , I hope I am beginning to understand the amount of white privilege I have and the nature of it. How much safer I am likely to be than a person of color . How much less likely it is that I would be targeted while driving , or just walking down the street . As I see these things on television
I hope I am beginning to understand.
Social media, and media in general have been instrumental in showing this to a wider audience. I am grateful that they did. It makes me uncomfortable with myself. It is supposed to make me uncomfortable with myself. It is supposed to make me rethink how much I can possibly understand as an outsider about racism.
Discrimination against people with disabilities still exists in other countries and here, but it is not absolute. There are people with disabilities who tell me quite frankly that they don’t experience discrimination. It’s been quite a while since I myself did. I do talk a lot on the internet about incidents that happen to other people with disabilities and I get fired up on their behalf.
I recognize now that while doing that I also need to redirect some of my energy to silent listening to voices of other oppression. It’s other voices that need to be heard now and I need to shut up and listen. As I listen I hope I will come to understand even further.