Moving Pictures
Whenever you move, you find the things that are most important to you.
I could never manage to get my wedding photos into a real album, but there is a virtual album up…
Just My 2cents about rage
There are many lovely wonderful good mannered people for whom “righteous anger,” spoken and written and delivered as rage is anathema. I really respect *everyone* who has had the upbringing and or the learning experience or training or the desire turned into ability, not to do rage much.
It could be the simple truth that it’s bad manners to rage.
Or, hearers are uncomfortable with it.
Or, ragers learn it hurts them more than the people they rage at
Or, just learned it in a work environment or interpersonal nexus where they *had* to quit.
In a public setting or as a guest of someone…Then, it should on a leash, and internal.
As regards one’s workplace raging in the office, or in a work document, uh, not the best move.
But let’s say you’re writing or speaking, and you have rage that day, and it’s just going to come out…
I think the least off putting version of that is:
Lesser anger should be witty and mocking and well spoken. Big words are sometimes needed, but arrogance will never be a good weapon. If five dollar words work, don’t use a twenty dollar word.
By the same token, for the lesser stuff or for rage itself, if you just know those you rage against will be snobs about about five dollar words, use a slew of twenty dollar words. Know your arena before you take the field.
Rage itself, in my opinion, works best, and is oddly inspiring sometimes if:
Your spoken voice is calm. You may be physically reacting to your feelings, but keeping the voice neutral.
You have your facts straight. It’s not just opinion against opinion.
If you can master it enough to keep the elegance of language, or the eloquence of personal experience, or just a heartfelt explicit reason for it, it could go a long way to getting your point across.
My atheist friends aren’t going to like this one…
But at least there will be no evangelism, speaking in tongues, or tent meetings here. Why people think they can, or should push their beliefs on others makes me shake my head.
My apologies. This is just full of personal crap. It will not be well written.
Since my conversion to Roman Catholicism in 2009, there’s been concern expressed that I’ve turned off my brain to do this.
I don’t know how to explain that one can be a practicing Catholic and keep one’s intellect. At least I can.
There are doctrines and history past and present that trouble me mightily. I’m not stupid.
I get things quoted at me all the time:
Marx: ” Religion is the opiate of the people.”
Heinlein: “Religion is a crutch.”
Well, boys, sometimes drugs and mobility aids are necessary. Did either of you freaked out old guys have to use them? I doubt it.
My new belief system tells me that it is my conscience I must look to for how I live my life.
Yay for my conscience.
Yay for the emphasis that all lives, old people, and ugly people and poor people, and disabled people’s lives…are all sacred. Value is not assigned by what you’ve done. It’s a given because you’re around.
This will be relevant later in the post….
Things are unraveling so damn quickly.
My power chair or it’s battery or charger is suddenly dysfunctional (I will call them later ‘today’)
My shrink gives me a med change now. NOW? When I have to sleep, because sleep, unlike food, is free and I don’t have to pay for it???
I would normally be screaming and shouting at the roommate about things too numerous to mention. But I cannot use my truly Olympian “shouting while intellectual,” skills, because:
1. I have to stay decent in order to get home, and 2. in order not to further push my skyrocketing blood pressure (this is not hyperbole 162 over something is not good Yes, I’m on high blood pressure meds)
3. because they’re possibly going to be homeless at the end of March, so no matter how badly things F-Up here for me, they have it worse.
And 4., there is a “no yelling” rule in this house that I have done my level best to keep.
And the drug, the one possible *answer* to my gut trouble, I *finally* have a physician willing to prescribe it! It might give me back my outside life! Let me out of being shut at home for the last two years…! I could maybe sing in public. Go wait on a regular bus without trouble! Have something stressful happen and not get physically ill over it…
And of course,
Medicare Part D.
Does. Not. Cover It.
It’d only be…yanno…
900 bucks a month.
I get 991.00 from SS.
I don’t have any fight left.
It’s only partially self-inflicted, only partially my fault that this is too much.
Do other people have this long list of challenges they’ve moved through in their lives and then they get to a particular point and say:
“Okay. This is it. Doing Life Correctly has just become too much. Emotionally, I have a desire to figure out the most artful, interesting, rude, pushy way (in the way a Cubist painting of a building imploding might be interesting] to completely Self Destruct.
But nope. There’s that pesky new belief system that tells me that my life is sacred.
Without my investment in that?
Here doesn’t look good.
And now, the sprint to the finish
45 days until I go east and I don’t know where I’m going. 4 hours of internet/phone time discussing some very cool and some very distasteful durable medical equipment needs.
And why did Walgreen’s have to send an email saying “Print your prescriptions for Tax Time!” right when I need to know which of these things I’m out of. Their website is down.
Shrink appt tomorow. Mamogram next week. Upper GI early March. Won’t get the Medical stuff until at least March 15th. Calling apts on March 2nd saying, you got anything for April 1rst?
Old Brooklyn, Fairlawn (Akron), Akron proper, Kent, Stow, Parma,
Damn. My head is tired.
It’s amazing….
Scary stuff happens and as long as LexiTheSchauzer has her food and water and is walked regularly…life for her, is good. 🙂
Midlife And Treachery 
