I’ve just been part of a miracle, and I had to share…
Circumstances have forced me to renew my lease at a place that is too expensive, and also will not make my unit more accessible…It’s only six months but…
The roomates wages have just been garnished.
I’m in line for an accessible apartment in my home state but that could take years.
We can meet the bills as long as we spend nothing on food. (I’ve got some foodstamp benefit for me, but that leaves the roomie with zero…) Two months from now the money situation will improve so that making the lease will be easier. I’ll be able to finish the lease, not break it, so that my rental history will not get clouded up and make moving in to the accessible apartment difficult.
Unlooked for and unasked for a blogfriend of mine whom I’ve never seen face to face heard about my situation and just decided to send me a load of food so large and so varied that it will get the household through the end of October 🙂 And, she must have been psychic because I’m on a restricted diet due to health issues and most of what she sent, I can eat…
I’ve thanked her, but there’s nothing I can really do in return. I wish I could…
Miracles happen. Yes they do.
And this old skeptic has to say it:
Thanks be to God.
When you can’t make the rent, when the last ramen has left the cupboard, when you don’t really want to investigate how scary this is…
read her stuff, because her = funny.
It proves so many things. That a fully fleshed out romantic relationship *is* possible for people with disabilities.
Again, that we’re people first.
That, some of the time, we hold down jobs, run a household, get married, hold off the inlaws…similar in many respects to the able bodied world…but our coping skills and abilities are profoundly different than the able’s.
And sometimes we don’t fcucking cope at all, and the able’s judgement of who we are can just go hang.
And the seemingly contradictory paradox, based on the whole relationship:
That I would never, ever want to go through the insanely rough times that followed after this again, and wouldn’t wish similar cirumstances on my worst enemy. And, frankly would avoid dating anybody, even that mythological perfect man, that was likely to have a long, slow medical nightmare of a downfall. Doesn’t mean I wouldn’t hang in there. Doesn’t mean all persons with disabilities are out of the running. Just that if the likelihood of a long slow downturn in a younger person exists, I’m bloody well not going to throw myself in front of that bullet.
This last sounds almost like a betrayal of others with chronic severe illness. (Separate from disability) I can’t help that.
Also sounds like hypocrisy in a way because I am a cancer survivor, which unfortunately *does* make it more likely to recur than someone who has never had cancer getting it in the first place…
Can’t help that either. Those are my emotional/investiture boundaries now, and I’m sticking to them.
At the same time, with time passing, I wouldn’t have missed a moment of the good stuff, and the bad stuff did teach me some serious life lessons about sacrifice, and duty…and no, not just my own sacrifices…He took a long long road, and eventually learned and practiced adult sacrifice as well, before he himself was sacrificed.