Fifty Fifty

November 8, 2011 at 1:41 PM (Uncategorized) (Aging., Disability, Personal)

So here I am at my half century mark. Fiftieth birthday.

Firstly. I wasn’t supposed to be here at all, because I nearly didn’t make it. Three different times.

Once, when I was born with what would later be called cerebral palsy. Premature, and dropped to two pounds eleven ounces before I began thriving.

Twice because my life choices exposed me to some inherently lethal risk (which, thankfully I avoided.)

And thrice: Hodgkin’s lymphoma which I survived.

So, it’s very cool to have gotten here.

Fifty Fifty as a phrase means a lot of things.. Split. Half and Half

That may mirror the country’s divide, my ambivalence about a few factors and people in my life…or the time before and after my marriage, a real dividing line in my capabilities and emotional stability.

But I don’t think so.

I’m still trying to talk to friends and associates who are struggling. To offer advice. And also stories. I figure it’s a positive I can still put out there.

And rediscovering some cool things here at this point.

Peace and quiet.
Safety.

Closer communication with friends and family.
A couple of communities of people that seem to be ok with me as I am, not as who-they-wish-I-would-have-been.

Some annoying physical/emotional stuff that I’m working with (new, not old) is made easier to handle because I have this space to live in, this hidden away place

And singing again… That’s been unbelievably good.

It’s not much by the rest of the world’s standards.

But I judge my value differently than the rest of the world might.

In discussion about disability, the issue of inherent value just by being here comes up again and again. And it’s put into a little sharper forcus when you turn fifty.

Like one of my favorite Star Trek captains once said, there’s more of your life behind you than in front of you at this point.

So, I guess I say enjoy what’s good, take stock of it. Notice it. The decade of my fifties is going to be about noticing the good stuff in each conversation, in each day.

So, I partied last weekend, exercised my right to vote today (too new to the precinct to have gotten a mail in ballot so I rolled next door [literally] to my polling place and voted.
Peeps, ain’t it a great feeling to cast a ballot? Right, left, independent we get to do that in this country…USA USA)

And the weather today? Along with the single slice of key lime pie that I just ate… Indian summer awesome.