And here I thought…
getting de-personed for being a woman, a gimp, or fat, or any and all combinations thereof was bad enough….but I’ve noticed as the political climate has gotten more and more poisonously divisive.
I’m now getting ‘mentally deleted’ once people know I’m one of those “liberals.’
Disagreement on issues? Fine, lets. But don’t decide I’m not a person if you disagree with me.
And, one on one, I’ve never, never lost sight of the fact that the person I’m discoursing with is a person…because many of my really really close family profoundly disagree with me politically. If I do move back to Ohio, I’m realizing that I’m actually going to have to censor myself more severely there than here. (Denver has a boatload of conservatives, but an equal amount of liberals, so you’re less likely to get cornered and shouted at at a restaurant or grocery, or public place etc etc.)
I wonder if disability intersects with this because anecdotally, the able feel the right to get all up in our business about everything *because we”re disabled. *
For example questions I’ve been asked/statements made on the street by strangers who would never dare ask an able bodied person these things….
“Can you have sex?'” (Um, mind your own business and sure as hell not with you.)
An undocumented cab driver, after he’s picked me up once. “Will you marry me? Then I could become American! (Big smile on their face.)” (I, and they were lucky that I was *extremely* sour on the idea of marriage at the time.)
“If you didn’t eat so much, you’d lose weight!” did you know that?” (Really? I do have a mirror, I see it every day, and you’re obviously not the sharpest knife in the drawer.)
“The only reason *you’re” liberal is that you are in a wheelchair. If you were walking you’d understand Beck quick enough!” [WTF! Increased mobility means I’d automatically become the devils disciple? Who knew?]
“And you probably love terrorists too! You loser ***ch!” (No, my stance on terrorists is what makes me a rather bloodthirsty liberal. You heard it here first. Osama’s head on a pike is fine by me.)
“You hate capitalism because you’d rather sit at home!”
(No. The reasons I distrust corporate management of my world are many and varied and I’ve already written about them here, and they are more personal than political, but they are both.
Guess I’d better resign myself to either ‘vanishing,’ or getting a lot more argumentative blowback once I’m in the Buckeye State.
Midlife And Treachery 
bridgett said,
September 6, 2010 at 4:53 PM
Here’s where the invisible social clout I’ve got — that I never even think about, that surrounds me and mine without a whisper — becomes manifest. No one ever does this crap to me. The fat bit, yes a little. But the political shit? Nope. They’d get their ass handed to them, but they don’t even sidle up with the intention to blurt before something in my “I am a middle-class professor lady” walk just withers them. I don’t know if it’s the wedding ring or the suit or the fact of my motherhood or what. All I know is that I’m not so accosted.
Leslie D said,
September 13, 2010 at 4:53 PM
Thank you
imfunny2 said,
September 14, 2010 at 8:27 PM
You’re welcome 🙂
Alexandra Erin said,
September 13, 2010 at 6:42 PM
What do people think they’re saying about Glenn Beck when they suggest that nobody in a wheelchair would have any reason to like him?
imfunny2 said,
September 14, 2010 at 8:30 PM
Though I don’t like him, I liked the questioner even less…because doesn’t Mr. Beck have a special needs daughter?
I guess the questioner meant: Wheelchair user = automatically on Social Security = automatically doesn’t get Beck’s drift because Mr. Beck dislikes Social Security.
Two assumptions made by the questioner, neither universally true.
The Untoward Lady said,
September 14, 2010 at 10:14 PM
I think we very much have to be careful when we give rhetorical shelter to parents of disabled children. Remember: Jerry Lewis had a child with muscular dystrophy and started the MDA and the MDA Labor Day Telethon. Spend a little bit of time in the adult muscular dystrophy community and listen to some of the things they have to say about Jerry Lewis.
Alexander Graham Bell had a Deaf wife. Spending some time in the Deaf community I get the feeling that if he walked into a Deaf rally nowadays he’d likely be lynched.
How about the antics of Autism Speaks which is, predominantly, made up of parents of autistic people (and some “professionals” as well). They have gone around defaming autistic people, comparing our lives as a fate worse than death, for years. How about that woman from Autism Speaks who, with her autistic daughter in the room, told a camera how she’s wanted to kill her daughter because of how much “trouble” she’s given her. It slips my mind exactly who she was but she was a high-ranking official in Autism Speaks and she had an autistic child.
What I’m getting at is that association with disabled people does not make them an ally of us and it certainly does not mean that they are able to speak on our behalf! I, for one, will draw no quarter with a parent of a disabled person just because they are a parent.
Kieran said,
September 14, 2010 at 5:24 AM
I use a scooter style Wheelchair. I have CP and thankfully a really big mouth. The microcosm that is the grocery store next to my job is a wonderland of ignorance. I get questions of “can you walk?” This usually happens when I’m standing on 1 foot on the scooter trying to get off a high shelf. The Oh You have a job? Yes I work at the publishing company next door. When they notice my wedding ring. . .Oh You’re Married? (implied I didn’t know you people got married) Yep I’m married to a computer genius and volunteer firefighter. and of course Can you have babies?
Mind you this is all assuming that I’ve had the patience to deal with the stupidity.
Generally I cut the interrogation off with a big smile and pleasantness and get the hell out of dodge before I want to hit them back up and hit them again. This girl needs a cannon scooter attachment.
When I see people trying to avoid me I generally make a highly pleasant foray into their lives. . .to paraphase a movie I’m not overly fond of: Nobody puts Kierie in the corner!
imfunny2 said,
September 14, 2010 at 8:32 PM
My first impairment was CP as well (others have come on with age) and, I was married (now widowed) and have a really big mouth too!!!! So glad to see another CP woman with a big mouth who knows that “yes Virginia we can and do get married.” 🙂
The Untoward Lady said,
September 14, 2010 at 9:17 AM
I feel that, as an Autistic woman, I’m de-personed whenever the topic of autism comes up. Either people look at me and think that I just hold my views about autism because I’m autistic and somehow that makes my views less unimportant (I suppose because disabled people shouldn’t be trusted to make ourselves?). On the other end of the spectrum, I’ve found myself dismissed because I’m apparently NOT autistic or autistic enough and therefore can’t speak as a member of the community (but the abled person who’s pontificating in front of me apparently knows what’s right).
imfunny2 said,
September 14, 2010 at 8:37 PM
Welcome. I’m an outsider as far as autism is concerned, but…I think that persons with disabilities/impairments are our own best advocates…One of the things I’ve loved seeing in the last six years of the rise of disability blogging/bloggers is that neurodiverse folks (autistics and others along the spectrum) have jumped at the chance to broaden participation in the wider world and commuicate in their own voices, not the voices of those who believe they are advocates. (Some are genuine advocates, absolutely, but not all…just as with any group of folks that intersect with PWD’s
brilliantmindbrokenbody said,
September 19, 2010 at 12:47 PM
I’ve had someone pull the ‘you’re liberal because you’re a crip’ thing on me before.
The funny thing is, back in my able-bodied student days, I was downright socialist (instead of believing that a certain amount of capitalism is a good thing if the social programs and regulatory agencies are in place and have teeth). I laughed and told the guy that, too, and he started muttering about my obvious lack of intelligence. “Nope, top quarter of a percent in intelligence, and a law student at a top law school.” That finally stunned him to silence.
Hah! Serves him right for making such goofy assumptions.
~Kali