Running around my internet space, drumming my feet on the floor, and pulling the hair out

May 11, 2012 at 6:23 AM (Uncategorized) (, , , , , )

of my head.

Because while this post shares some truly laudable ideas…

It is, at the same time, (the New Ager portion of my family may never forgive me for this one)

An incredibly large stack of misguided muddledom.

First, let us give credit where credit is due.

I love this picture :

Post image for Dear LOA: Why Are Some People Born Disabled?

First of all, we have to dispel the idea that being “disabled” is somehow a “bad” thing. We assume that it is, but we can never actually know what someone else’s experience is really like. When you look at a disabled person and judge their experience to be somehow “less” than yours, you’re actually doing them a disservice. Why do we assume that a life without hearing or sight or the use of one’s legs is worse than one with these supposed “shortcomings”? It is different. But different is not the same as worse.

They seem to have come up with a primer version of the Social Model of Disability, that it’s not the condition, but societal barriers that ultimately hinder those with bodily difference, all on their own (virtually pats LOA blog on the head.)

We can have fun, fine, productive lives with the right supports and a supportive circle of friends/family (my def of productive is a bit broader than the work for money version)

But here’s where they begin to fall down the rabbit hole.

When a baby is born “disabled”, it’s generally due to a pre-birth intention, instead of the result of resistance. It’s important to understand that nothing has gone wrong. This baby is not being punished for anything and neither are the parents.

If a child is born with a disability, I agree and have stated that the blame game (blame it on the parents) is non productive and wrong in most cases.  But to tell parents that their child chose such a thing, might leave them thinking they have less responsibility to nurture, help and direct that child in the path of the best supports for them.  Or encourage the worst of them to abandon that child, because after all it was the child’s intention to become disabled.

Madame Marshmallow Prophet, babies do not have the capacity to choose such things. I’m aware that science makes you run for the granola, but sentience must exist to create intention, and it takes a while for babies to get there. The brain doesn’t boot up until weeks into a pregnancy, and it doesn’t have the capacity to decide on body setup, even out of the womb.

Some “disabled” people have a very hard life. They are bitter and unhappy and fully believe that if they didn’t have this disability, their life would be much better. Some people who have no visible disabilities feel exactly the same way. They are bitter and unhappy and believe that if their life was simply different in some way (born to different parents, win the lottery), their experience would be much better.

A large percentage of the unhappiness of some PWD’s comes from others attitudes about them, and external barriers…It’s not necessarily the condition itself that makes things difficult on a day to day basis, but the way the outside world handles it.

Some disabled people are perfectly happy. They enjoy every minute of their lives. They’re happy shiny puppies. Some non-disabled people have achieved this high vibrational state, as well.

First, I’d like to say that if one sees a shiny puppy, it’s a pretty good bet that a puppy bath will soon be in order. Second, no one, impaired or not enjoys every minute of their lives. That is an impossibility.

And while I’ll completely commit to and admit to being as one ex friend put it “A bitter, judgemental b!tch” sometimes, that’s my right as a human being. It sometimes has to do with my impairments, but not always. I firmly believe if I were able bodied I’d have plenty of BJB moments because well, that’s just how I roll.

Yes, as the impairments have piled on I have more crying towels handy. I try to handle it by (old method) bitching and (new method) working out.

This person’s belief system is clearly a linear descendant of Bernie Siegel, the guy who figures if you got cancer, then well, some how you unconsciously wanted it.

Here’s proof:

“Disabilities” later in life are manifestations of resistance

When an adult has an accident or illness and is left without the use of part of their physical body, this new limitation represents a manifestation of resistance. It’s no different than if someone manifests cancer or pneumonia. The experience they are having will be a match to some belief they are carrying. The disability manifested both as a result of the resistance and as a way to overcome it. For example, someone may feel trapped in their job. They feel like they can’t move, can’t breathe, can’t get out from under the enormous stress. They ignore the negative emotions and keep on triggering this belief, until one day, they manifest an accident, leaving them without the use of their legs. Now, they are literally trapped in a way, their ability to move has been impaired. The experience (trapped in a wheelchair) matches the vibration (trapped in a job).

But, while this experience is evidence of the underlying belief, it’s also an opportunity to release it. If this person finds a way to feel free, even while in the wheelchair, he will feel free in the other areas of his life, as well. And then, it’s entirely possible that he’ll manifest a way to regain the use of his legs. [Note: Brain damage essentially works the same way, but is much more extreme. It involves a partial to complete withdrawal from reality, often the result of SEVERE resistance.]

As a cancer survivor, Madame Marshmallow Prophet, I can tell you I never asked for that, nor would I wish it on my worst enemy. I embrace the cool people I met while under treatment, and the life lessons learned from it, but in no way does that mean that some subconscious, woo-woo scary part of me walked up to the menu board and ordered Hodgkins with a (very late) side order of lymphedema. Or that, as a baby, I chose Cerebral Palsy, or that as an adult I went looking for asthma, carpal tunnel, or chose (are you KIDDING me?!!!!!!!) depression.

I recognize that in some weird way, you think you’re helping. You aren’t.
This is just as bad, in its way as the medieval notion that disability is the result of sin.

Disability is neither a choice, an intention (except in those rare cases when an adult decides to injure themselves) or a sin. Impairments can arise from spontaneous mutation, genetics, accident, injury, or other as yet random, unknown reasons. Putting it out there that that isn’t so borders on the irresponsible. It impedes any adult wrestling with the medical and social implications of a newly arrived impairment from arriving at the balanced, fact filled way of moving forward in a good life while also being a person with disabilities.

Bleah. Knowing this load of **** is out there can really ruin your morning.


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July 22, 2008 at 10:06 AM (Uncategorized) (, , , )

I’m not trying to disrespect specific people that I know….

But ‘faith healing’ whether it is from an evangelical church, or from those who self describe as committed New Agers…from the right and from the left.

I submit that these belief systems are both:

Profoundly disrespectful of persons with disabilities or impairments.

And, actively *dangerous* to the mental health of people with disabilities.



Those of us who see the Social Model of Disability as the correct way in, for the able, or others with disabilties to see us, means that we are people first [and here’s the radical part: correctly built, made, constructed ‘as is’ ! I ) Impairment is not tragedy, or something to wish away…It exists. (When I’m having lousy days, I do still run to the Medical Model to see if I can improve comfort and function, but I don’t view that as disrespecting how I’m built. I’m ‘shooting’ for the Social Model, just haven’t got there yet.)

The positive results of following this model cannot be underestimated. When a person with impairments first realizes that they are constructed correctly for their life, a great deal of energy that might have been directed at a ‘cure quest,’ gets shot off, hopefully in a direction that means you’re life gets richer, and more fun.

But the evangelical faith healing community… has two nasty uses for people with disabilities. First, the pure quackery of the quick set up, rent those wheelchairs, slap the able bodied assistant’s into them, and voila…for those still on the cure road, a devastating set up and lead in to false hope.

And, even if some sites or persons or groups *have* some sort of ability to ‘heal.’ What happens to you if those around you experience something, and you do not?

Then, the community tells you, “Your faith just isn’t strong enough.” In other words the only reason you aren’t healed is you, yourself. Wrong. Fallen short. or worse yet, Unworthy.

And the New Age:

In a nutshell, they tell you that the only reason you have a given impairment, illness or disability is because you *wanted* it in the first place. And that you have to find out what, in the yellow brick road of some past life, alternate reality made you pick certain conditions before you were born.

Good Gawd, what a load of acid laced cotton candy that is.

And last….’failure’ to heal at both of these altars, can take people into isolation, depression, even suicidal thoughts…

People of these belief systems: *Listen!* If you are a genuine person, a person who wishes good for all:

We’re good already. Right now. As is. Your misplaced desire to ‘help’ us keeps us from understanding the life we’re meant for. It keeps us from it, and can actually hurt us, rather than help. The best lives we can live don’t deserve to be blocked up or hazy or confused because of your fear of impairment.

Because *that’s* what it’s really about, down deep, isn’t it?

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