In this timeline, it’s a comedy…BOO

March 17, 2012 at 7:01 AM (Uncategorized) (, )

have fun.

I was a great (original) fan of the old show Dark Shadows……watched it after school from ’68 through to it’s cancellation in ’71.  I *thought* I would hate it when I heard it was different but…after seeing the new movie trailer…I look at this as a comedy packing real wit…and a parallel timeline…something the original *used* from time to time…Yes, it is completely, insanely different if the trailer is any indication…but I’m fine with the funny, and Angelique (the witch who curses him) is still badass, which is important.

I have a small beef.  His girlfriend Josette (not the witch, the girl he’s kissing at the beginning)

…should have dark hair…as should the 1970’s look alike we don’t see in the trailer.

I’ve decided to revise my earlier reservations and have an open mind about the big stuff…but…Josette should have dark hair.  It is “Dark Shadows,” after all.

From the trailer…in the middle of the comedy/parody it looks like they have preserved Barnabas’ deciding that while he might empty the veins of the rest of the town, his future relations are to be protected and fought for.  That’s cool, and definitely part of the vibe of the old show.  Barnabas is clearly the straight man in the middle of this mess, and I’m good with that as well.

So, let the sun set.  Open the doors of Collinwood.  You know darn well what’s in the basement.

Let’s party.


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More on the new Dark Shadows film…

February 11, 2012 at 8:53 PM (Uncategorized) (, )

It’s not quite a review, but one German blogger has done a creditable job here 

I used babelfish and hacked out a very rough translation, but I don’t want to step on toes so I won’t post the translation here. The blog sets about recapping the new story (from a synopsis @ imdb)  and adds discussion of Tim Burton’s work and Johnny Depp’s past collaborations with Burton.

There are also some excellent Youtube clips of the original Dark Shadows loaded into the blog:  Barnabas arrival at Collinwood, some early MTV interviews with Johnny Depp, and some of the saved bloopers.

I’m going to draw some inferences of my own, that the whole family this time is more messed up since Julia Hoffman is already known as a psychiatrist who lives in the house…and that heavyweight horror actor Christopher Lee wouldn’t be playing the role of a  cannery foreman unless he got more than the five minutes of screentime than the original Bill Malloy character did. (Bill Malloy was a supporting character during the earliest nine months of Dark Shadows, not often syndicated, the arc *before* Barnabas and his fangs show up for dinner.)

My Speculation to follow,  I have no information on whether this next bit is true or not.

I’m  just guessing that the parentage of governess Victoria Winters will be revealed in this film…my bet, as is many fans, is that she is revealed as Elizabeth Stoddard’s natural daughter. [By whom?….I have no idea.  I would have said Bill Malloy  as played on the original show as being the same age as Elizabeth. He would have been a natural candidate for Victoria’s father if they’d been together at one time, because he was a standup guy and intensely loyal to Elizabeth.

But Malloy cannot[or at least should not] be Victoria’s  father in this version because the age difference between Christopher Lee and Michelle Pfeiffer would just make that too icky.

Maybe Burton is just twisted enough to do that though.  We’ll see.]

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The new Dark Shadows movie

January 3, 2012 at 5:55 AM (Uncategorized) (, )

Until today, I would have said that I was really looking forward to the new film.  psyched to go, etc, since  both the original Dark Shadows and the 1991 revival are hobbies, er favorites, um okay, obsessions of mine.  I didn’t “run home” from school” to watch it, but boy was I glad when the short bus was on time getting me home in 1967 and I could cajole my mother into letting me watch it, even though it did give my five and six year old self nightmares, in the beginning.

The new Dark Shadows movie has pictures out. One of them seems so “off” that I’m now considering not going…Johnny Depp looks *painted.*

Barnabas Collins as ceramic mask.  Looks similar to his Michael Jackson-esque take on Willy Wonka.  I don’t blame the actor for the makeup.

Tim Burton has moved to too bizzare and obtuse for me.  I loved his Batman vision, Beetlejuice was hilarious, back when dinosaurs walked the earth, but this could be a misstep.

What made Barnabas Collins interesting was his human side, not the undead pallor …IMO that should be underplayed in the new film, not overdone.

I always liked the clear demarcation between the eeeevill makeup, when Barnabas was clearly hunting dinner, and the Mr. Normal suit and makeup when he went to chat about restoring his home with his cousins at Collinwood.  It wasn’t Bela Lugosi perpetually stalking around in a tux.

Evidently in this film there is some reason he has to be able to walk around in the daylight, but in order to do so he has to be wrapped ala The Invisible Man.

I will give props to his hat though.  That’s cool.

And, of course, whomever Burton has picked for  Angelique will *never* scare the **** out of me like Lara Parker’s did.

I do think Michelle Pfeiffer is a great looking (if unconventional) choice for Elizabeth Collins Stoddard.

And Helena Bonham Carter *is* completely wrong for Julia Hoffman.  I’ve liked her in other things, but no, no, no. Not Julia Hoffman.

(Nepotism did this film no favor,  Mr. Burton.)

If, it’s two hours of “so bad it’s good,” I will laugh my head off and put up with it.  Another tough thing about doing DS though, is knowing which direction you’re going to go…will it be full speed ahead straight into camp?  or a big SFX picture trying to scare all ages for real?

Tune in this summer to see if I go.  I’m astonished at myself, but I really might not do it.

I really want to be cheering at the fun, not wincing at a disaster.


Update: Feb 2 2012:  One positive thing is the cameos that Lara Parker, Kathryn Leigh Scott, and David Selby will be making (apparently in a party scene in the film) and just today I heard that Johnathan Frid will also make a cameo in the film.

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