How to Label this one…or Immune System Follies

February 25, 2012 at 10:59 AM (Uncategorized) (, , , , , , , )

In addition to my cerebral Palsy, Asthma, Carpal Tunnel, Depression…Theres this new thing, lymphadema I don’t know. But I’ve received confirmation from a medical source I trust that my case of lymphedema has a bit of a different twist than others.

It’s an illness common to cancer survivors…breast cancer patients are the most common recipients of this sort of consolation prize.

But in my case, my original cancer was cancer of the lymph nodes. Because my lymphatic system was weakened in the first place, it makes the lymphedema more dangerous to me in particular.
While the cancer has not returned, per a medical professional I trust, this is a sign that the whole lymphatic system is weakening. Lymphadema is not curable, and will not go away.

With the agressive therapy, I can hold the line on this for a time, against progression to congestive heart failure. My heart is in good shape at this time.

(One really annoying thing about the therapy. ) in addition to all the time working physically I *have* to lie in bed and keep my legs up for at least two hours during the day. *That’s* not going to help any weight loss goal 😦

One thing the docs don’t know is how much or how little time it can be held off. Could be twenty or thirty years. Could be six months.

One thing the docs do know: Barring some other intervening illness or injury…eventually my lymphatic system will shut down, and that…will be my endgame.

So, betwixtandbetween. Not directly terminal…but it feels pretty odd to have a likely ending scenario mapped out already.

But dumber still. Someone said I ought to be pissed at my oncologist.

WTF? The guy gave me *twenty years* and however many more i’ve got!

I’m not going to ‘get mad’ at him.

Sure, 85 % of me is peeved at The Universe for handing me this.

(14% shrugs like a Frenchman and says c’est la vie. The remaining 1% says it’s been a damn long wait to see my husband, and if that’s how it’s going to roll, well then that’s it.)

And it’s so darn nebulous, I forget about it sometimes. When I do think of it I don’t know how to feel about it from day to day.

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Grumpy and self-involved, or On being judged.

February 17, 2012 at 11:58 AM (Uncategorized) (, , , , , , )

This is just a short, peeved note.
Ok, people deciding that I should be able to do xyz with this new rather more dangerous impairment that I just got? (lymphedema) Go jump. Or go tack yourselves to a wall. Take a long walk…A really long walk.

This is the truly whiny part, and I admit it.

I really do believe that anyone else in the developed world who had been through my list of obstacles in order from the moment I got born…
Might very well be in an institution where they treat mental illness weaving baskets by now.

I’m not. (At least not yet).
So I am, in fact, ahead of the game.
It may look like quitting from the outside.
It isn’t.

Quitting would be not doing anything the docs tell me.
I’m not doing that.

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