Backwards Rescue

July 19, 2014 at 10:58 PM (Uncategorized)

I’m sad about someone I respect.  She was the primary caregiver for a son with  disabilities for the entirety of his life up to now.  And he was and remains, shall we say, difficult.  She gave up her own dreams? Life path, whatever you might call it, so that he would be cared for.


Now, she has dementia, and he has care in the home, but it is inadequate.


He has decided, on his own to go into a facility and that’s hard enough.   But it will be worse for her because she, for her own safety, should also go in.   And she will be so afraid, and confused, and angry.

See it as kidnapping in a sense.


And as difficult as this son is…I place a lot of blame on his alcohol infused able bodied brother.  He certainly saw this moment coming decades ago, but  neither he nor his brother with disabilities have done any advance planning. (the brother with disabilities has a weird world view, but no cognitive deficits per se. He could have helped in the thinking ahead)…


And after all that, I still feel sad for them both that they have to endure this.  Her, more than anything, as she is taken from her home, for reasons she does not understand.

I shouldn’t feel sorry for his trouble…given our history, given his difficult nature.

I do.



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