(This) risk is (my) business

May 23, 2014 at 6:33 PM (Uncategorized)

You say you want me to be able to do a fun thing. And in the same breath, you try to throw 50 questions at me about why I cannot go.  When I have given all these answers as satisfactorily as I can, with specifics as to how I would handle difficulties..,you still have doubts…this says to me that what you would really like is for me not to go, in order that you might stop worrying.

And guess what?  The rest of the family is able to love me even if.  Even if , because of physical problems I am having, the most socially unacceptable thing in the world happens to me in the middle of a wedding reception, *in public view*  wherein I would then have to slink off and do something about it…

They would  continue to love me. 

You can, and you do, But there are always these interrogations with you. These endless major or minor litmus tests of a given choice.  or “you cannot,” or “you should not,” or “you ought to.”

FTLOG, I am choosing to take a risk. A risk that might result in me having a good time.

And, bye the bye, FTLOG, I am fifty two years old.

This isn’t about my bad choices about food or money, where I understand anyone’s desire to intervene, And would welcome that at this point
  This is a choice I am capable of making without harming anybody.

Leave me be, and let me make it.  If the bride or groom tell me not to come then I will not. But that is the only time that I will not.

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