I am the same person on the inside

April 22, 2014 at 10:09 AM (Uncategorized)

Do you know how I know? Because I have another example from earlier in my life. It sometime in the mid 90’s maybe 1995 or so. My cousin Tiffany who I loved like a sister, had been going through dialysis for a long time and it really eroded her body and her spirit. She said often that she wanted to die.

Send the second miracle I ever saw happened. She was in church when she got the call that a kidney was available and motor get back to University Hospitals. I waited some with the family near the end of their wait for her to come out of recovery.

I was stunned, shocked in a good way when she spoke. She was still blind that couldn’t change. But that voice … It was an echo of herself, the voice remembered. It was so much clearer and definite then the voice she’d had fighting the dialysis prior to the transplant, and she was only moments out of surgery. Astonishing.

So two or three days later I’m rambling through the halls of the hospital on my crutches going to see her, to visit. And suddenly, I heard her voice and got shifted back in time in my head and in my head it was 1977 again, and we were up in a marvelous houselong attic discussing boys and school and clothes and who got kissed first. ( she did. I was peeved and aiming to even that score, which I had, by July of that year.)

I walked into her room and cried out, ” when the hell is this, 1977 or something? ”  and she laughed. And I laughed and her sisters laughed and her husband laughed. There was so much giddy, silly joy in the room that day just  telling silly stories over and over. Just to do it. Just to hear that voice. And that laugh was just the same as it had been years ago.  She was the same person inside, then, as she had always been.

Things happened later, it didn’t last, she went downhill. But that doesn’t change the fact the for a good long while after that transplant  whether she stayed at home or was in a skilled nursing facility, she was the same inside. 

So there you have it. Proof. I don’t have to subjectively persuade you from the inside of my head that I am the same side . Then you’d choose to believe it or not colored by how reliable you think my version of myself is.You don’t have to do that. You can just look at the story and realize that it can be done and that my version of myself inside my head, at least for now, has some credibility.


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