Do You Let them Know? for BADD 2012

May 1, 2012 at 3:58 PM (Uncategorized) (, )

I’ve just discovered I have a webcam on my laptop.
(Thankfully it hasn’t been on!)
It opens up a world of possibilities of course.
imfunny2 would finally have a face after seven years of blogging.

I watched myself last night.

Hunched over the keyboard, my common pose with a new machine when I’m learning it…

Heavyset, round face…the “lazy eye” very prominent and in my mind, off putting…

And I thought, attention junkie that I am.

Maybe I’d best keep things the way they are.  Stand or fall on my words alone, the way “The Voice,” vocal competition chooses competitors by their voice alone.

Because the minute able strangers see a video of me here.  — I’ll get devalued, squared.  Disabled and fat. Two strikes.

But ever since the Internet began, those of us with disabilities suddenly had a way to “pass” as able, if we chose not to disclose.  As I’ve said before it’s seductive.  To go into a literary forum, a hobby group, a political website….on equal footing….

It feels a little like being “in the closet,” I’d imagine.

I can’t decide yet.

And besides I have to make sure I learn how to use the darn thing…and keep it turned off when necessary.

I also don’t have a mike.

The Internet will be spared me  for a bit yet.

 

 

 

 

 

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1 Comment

  1. Mary said,

    I’d love to leave a deep and meaningful comment about whether or not “passing” is a good thing, or perhaps something affirmative about how you don’t have to put anything about yourself – words, images, audio, video – that you’re not 100% happy to share with the world.

    But I’ve got nothing that doesn’t sound daft, so instead, I’m going to recommend that you get some sellotape and a small square of paper or card, and make a little flap that you can put over that webcam and only lift when you feel confident to do so.

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