The new Dark Shadows movie

January 3, 2012 at 5:55 AM (Uncategorized) (, )

Until today, I would have said that I was really looking forward to the new film.  psyched to go, etc, since  both the original Dark Shadows and the 1991 revival are hobbies, er favorites, um okay, obsessions of mine.  I didn’t “run home” from school” to watch it, but boy was I glad when the short bus was on time getting me home in 1967 and I could cajole my mother into letting me watch it, even though it did give my five and six year old self nightmares, in the beginning.

The new Dark Shadows movie has pictures out. One of them seems so “off” that I’m now considering not going…Johnny Depp looks *painted.*

Barnabas Collins as ceramic mask.  Looks similar to his Michael Jackson-esque take on Willy Wonka.  I don’t blame the actor for the makeup.

Tim Burton has moved to too bizzare and obtuse for me.  I loved his Batman vision, Beetlejuice was hilarious, back when dinosaurs walked the earth, but this could be a misstep.

What made Barnabas Collins interesting was his human side, not the undead pallor …IMO that should be underplayed in the new film, not overdone.

I always liked the clear demarcation between the eeeevill makeup, when Barnabas was clearly hunting dinner, and the Mr. Normal suit and makeup when he went to chat about restoring his home with his cousins at Collinwood.  It wasn’t Bela Lugosi perpetually stalking around in a tux.

Evidently in this film there is some reason he has to be able to walk around in the daylight, but in order to do so he has to be wrapped ala The Invisible Man.

I will give props to his hat though.  That’s cool.

And, of course, whomever Burton has picked for  Angelique will *never* scare the **** out of me like Lara Parker’s did.

I do think Michelle Pfeiffer is a great looking (if unconventional) choice for Elizabeth Collins Stoddard.

And Helena Bonham Carter *is* completely wrong for Julia Hoffman.  I’ve liked her in other things, but no, no, no. Not Julia Hoffman.

(Nepotism did this film no favor,  Mr. Burton.)

If, it’s two hours of “so bad it’s good,” I will laugh my head off and put up with it.  Another tough thing about doing DS though, is knowing which direction you’re going to go…will it be full speed ahead straight into camp?  or a big SFX picture trying to scare all ages for real?

Tune in this summer to see if I go.  I’m astonished at myself, but I really might not do it.

I really want to be cheering at the fun, not wincing at a disaster.


Update: Feb 2 2012:  One positive thing is the cameos that Lara Parker, Kathryn Leigh Scott, and David Selby will be making (apparently in a party scene in the film) and just today I heard that Johnathan Frid will also make a cameo in the film.



  1. Anonymous said,

    I agree, I am a big fan of Both shows, I think Dan Curtis would be rolling over in his grave. Tim Burton is going to kill a classic, I don’t know what he is thinking…. He kills all movies! And after what I saw in the pictures, this movie is going to be a BOMB! Thanks to Tim Burton. If Johnny Depp is such a big fan of the show, then have that freak, Burton do it right! I think the girl Eve Green, is not pretty to play Angelique, I saw Lara Parker at the 2010 Dark Shadows convention, and she still looks 10 times better at her age, then this chick, playing Angelique. I like Johnny Depp, and he would be a good Barnabas, but not the way Tim Burton has him looking. I hope the movie never makes it to the big screen! Because it is going to be a insult to a true TV classic. Dan Curtis your still the best!

  2. Anthony said,

    I agree, Tim Burton, is going to kill this movie. He is a freak! I never liked him, nor any of his films! Johnny Depp, who is suppose to be a fan, is allowing this stupid script and story to happen. I read and seen the pictures and story. All I can say is, Tim you are insulting the TRUE FANS of this cult classic. Dan Curtis, would be rolling over in his grave. I don’t like the girl playing Angelique, I saw Lara Parker at the 2010 Dark Shadows Convention, she looks better even now, then Eva Green. I hope the film never makes it to the Big Screen! It looks ridiculous!!!! All I can say is Dan, “Forgive them, for they know not what they do!”

  3. imfunny2 said,

    Hey now..I have to call a halt to blaming Johnny Depp. He’s not the casting director, director or makeup artist. I think he’ll do well at capturing the inside of the character, but I think we won’t be able to see it, really…because of this costuming and makeup choice.

  4. Debrey said,

    I have to admit, I am worried about how the movie is leaning towards. Wrong Julia, wrong Angelique, wrong Carolyn… and what I have seen of Barnabus… looks more like Michael Jackson. I had such high hopes at first. But at least we will get to see the cameos..

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