A quick note for Friday night

July 9, 2010 at 6:32 PM (Uncategorized) (, , )

It occurs to me with words like treason, tyranny etc. being bandied about, that I ought to explain a little more about the derivation of the meaning of my blog title.

After all, the WordPress version has been around since  2007,  and the previous blog which mentioned midlife and treachery in the URL but not the title began in March  2005. So I’ve been five years on the Internet so it follows that I should explain myself.

First and foremost let me state categorically that I have never intended  treachery to any workplace, or institution public or private or to this country.  There. Disclaimer  established.

(isn’t it a sad sad democracy we live in, a place where I think I need to clarify that?)

There are two meanings to the blog title,  one of them elevated one of them decidedly less so.

and as regards the second meaning, no matter how many degrees I get, no matter how much I write or publish, I’m still a Neanderthal woman at heart.

The first meaning:  I consider every act of aggressive placement into able bodied life, every word or act that brings the notice and eventually respect by the temporarily able-bodied is in fact an act of treachery against a template that says we are still unseen unappreciated and unknown.

Perhaps it pushes against bureaucracies set up to work for us that too often work against us, perhaps it shoves against  people who still show fear and disgust or aversion at the very sight of us.

Perhaps, it moves against remaining bias within institutions of learning or workplaces that refuse to see our talent, our abilities, those very definite assets that we can that we can bring to the table.

It’s treachery against isolation imposed from outside.  Treachery against some believers in a higher power that still assign us evil natures or lack of faith and cite our  impairments as evidence.

It is treachery against the idea that we can never have romantic chemistry with someone, that we can never have a real relationship with a romantic partner.
And still further: Treachery against the idea that we can never be parents. ( at least not good parents: I’ve only been able to be a  mentor, but some of the same skills apply.)

Okay, there’s the high-minded reason I titled this blog as I did. Now for my own embarrassment, the low  reason.

I’ve got some great male friends, but there’ve been two gentlemen  one before and one after my husband in my life that I perceived as possible romantic partners that, in the words of a lot of old blues and country songs, did me wrong.

I’ve written about one of them before so I don’t need to rehash that again and I’m not going to go into too many details about the other but suffice it to say when I felt slighted I didn’t get angry so much as I got even. Treachery. Given back  for disrespect.

So five years in you get an explanation.

I don’t think I’ll get rid of this title, even if I make it to being a senior citizen.

Just another little act of treachery I suppose.

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