Trying…

February 20, 2010 at 10:42 PM (Uncategorized)

I am trying.  Not to feel sorry for myself.  Not to be obliterated by the stuff that happened to me, or that I brought on myself.

I am physically cut off from nearly everyone and everything I give a damn about.

So, how do those with impairments who have lived a long while without friends or family close by, with only ‘professional’ (and I use that term loosely.) support, how in the hell do you manage?  I’m trying but I have no clue…

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3 Comments

  1. muffledcitizen said,

    Is there any way to move to someplace more accessible but not a nursing home? Do you qualify for a buliding for people with disabilities? I have a few friends who have moved into such a building in my city and have found friends and companionship there. There is assistance of sorts in the sense of a lifeline cord in each small apartment, there are holiday events, people get to know each other and help each other out. No room mates but the neighbors and other people in the building seem to function almost as room mates and look out for each other. Probably you have looked into this or decided this is not for you, but it’s all I can think of. My heart goes out to you. I am also isolated but still have a few friends and family and once my temporay disability passes I have the chance to make new friends and go back to some activities and I rely a lot on long distance friends, well try to spread it out and not rely too much and make it mutual. It’s very hard. I keep trying to tell myself to be stronger and more resilient but other people tell me they already see me as strong, a lot stronger than I am or feel. Which really doesn’t help. Is there some kind of companion program in your city? (Volunteers I mean.) Not the same I know as “real” friends but could lead to more connections. Or volunteering somehow on the phone? Reaching out to others on a warm line? These all sound like lame suggestions. I wish I had a good answer and I don’t know how folks manage. I’m only temporarily somewhat house bound and dependent for transportation and it’s already driving me up the wall. Distraction helps but it doesn’t solve the deep feelings of loneliness/isolation/fear that this is what it will be like when I am older if I make it that far. Denial is my friend sometimes. Therapy helps a little but can’t solve situational problems. And frankly when I was more neurotic I coped better…….

    • imfunny2 said,

      Well, I’m in line for a couple of places like that….so I suppose it’s a waiting game….
      The roommate is more and more limited in what they can help with…
      I’m actually looking forward to the move back to more accessible housing for just the socialization you mention…

      I’m ninety nine percent housebound…and I’ve got some mental health stuff going as well…

      Thanks so much for your thoughts!

  2. bridgett said,

    First, this sucks and that must be said. Not very productive, I guess, but there it is.

    I don’t think I could wake up in the morning if I didn’t think I was going to learn something new, so I would suggest doing some on-line learning to keep the neural networks firing. Bring the lectures to you. Here’s a start of what’s out there.

    http://forum-network.org/station/wgbh

    http://academicearth.org

    (I think you’d like John Merriman’s history course on Modern France or Martin Lewis’s political science course on electoral politics. I’d also give two thumbs up to the stuff in the lit section…it’s like going to Yale, only you can hit pause or replay when you need to do so).

    There’s also a UCLA channel on YouTube that I’ve used to watch courses. Interesting stuff.

    The reason why I think that the college-at-home idea is a good one is that it gives you some goal-setting opportunities (beyond “I am going to get out of my nightgown today”) that you might find valuable. It’s not human interaction, but it is mental stimulation.

    The volunteering by phone might also be a good idea given your employment history and your mad phone skillz.

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