I have often heard…

April 2, 2008 at 9:59 PM (Uncategorized) (, , , , )

an able person, when confronted bluntly with the difficuties that can hit us or the things we have to struggle with say

“I don’t know what to say.”

That’s okay.  I’ve said that myself when confronted with someone elses trouble that I couldn’t get my head around, and knew anything I *did* try to say would sound ridiculous. (a woman I met in my twenties suffered the death of a child.  I was truly without words….)

But I’ve also heard, from my parent:

“If you can’t say  something nice, don’t say anything at all.” An old phrase but a good one.

I wish there was a third phrase. Something.  Anything.  That PWD’s were allowed to say in public anytime *without* pissing the ableds off.  Something like,  “Live in this body for a month and then come back to me and tell me that *your* sh!t is difficult.” Not victimized whining, just a statement of fact.Only much nicer.  Some Hallmark card version of same.

An able woman, with stress in her voice tells me it will take 50,000 per elevator to fix the elevator(s) in my building.

I’m thinking, “Why, am I supposed to have any sympathy for a real estate investment company, or owner, who may eventually have to fork out that money?  Why is it my job to be kindly and sympathetic about that horridly huge amount of cash?  I didn’t cause any damage to the elevator.  I am not the reason for wear and tear that has gone on far too long.  I did not break buttons, or relays or doors or lights. Why must I be patient with inaction about a relatively straightforward situation?   I have no problem being decent to the woman who is telling me this…she has no ability to move the process along.

I do have a problem with the unspoken assumption that it isn’t the ownerships responsibility.

I have another problem that *because* they project this attitude that it isn’t their responsibility…. I sense a kind of equating with my impairments.

“Well it’s not our fault that you’re disabled,” has never been spoken, but I have a feeling that that is the view in high places…and since it ‘isn’t their fault’ then why should they fix the elevator?…”

And yes, it’s working at the moment.



  1. Ranter said,

    I know exactly what you mean. Us disabled people are such a nuisance really, didn’t you know? We are the reason for the nat’l debt. It’s because of all the money and manpower spent trying to make sure that we have access that there isn’t enough money to go around ;).

    Luckily, I do run into this attitude less and less it seems. I do still encounter the people who don’t know what to do or say, and I admit I still have trouble with how to react to this. I get annoyed at always having to be the bigger, more patient one.

  2. qw88nb88 said,

    … and our children are not responsible for the budget problems of the school district.

    Really, we don’t have these issues just to piss everyone off!


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