Why people call me Scrooge

December 16, 2007 at 3:25 PM (Uncategorized)

I’ve blogged before about how any popular music written before 1993 is difficult for me to listen to now….brings up choices I should have made, or people I miss, or…whatever…

Makes me cry.  In private, or nearly in public…

Christmas is worse….and better….

Orchestral or instrumental holiday music is fine, and heartwarming….doesn’t trigger anything but a bit of smiling and Christmas busywork.

My father loved the songs of Nat King Cole, so hearing the Christmas song makes me miss him…It has that late fifties thing going on, and so I think of him young, full of potential…

Then there’s that nasty lying song by Mathis….

“I’ll be home for Christmas….”

First the singer sounds smug and satisfied that they’ve got Christmas Plans…and then…pathetic at the end…admiting they’re alone during Yuletide.

My mother’s situation makes her say “I hate Christmas…” and *mean* it.

I don’t hate Christmas.  I don’t.  And I don’t wish solely for Christmas’ Past…that’s futile. The people who are gone are gone, and hopefully waiting up for me in the hereafter so I can see them again.

I want Christmas Present.  As it ought to be.  With myself and the remainder of my family interacting and involved in each other’s lives…My mother’s *and* my father’s people, that I see less often…I want his brother to irritate me with some remark, and I want to see his sister children that I’ve never met…So I don’t *hate* Christmas….

I just want it.  In that way you want Romance when you’re twenty or the Right Career when you’re 30…the way that seems to almost physically pull you apart.   And I want time with my friends as well, that due to distance and finance won’t be forthcoming until at least the spring…

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