The Nexus of effects of multiple impairments

December 8, 2007 at 3:24 PM (Caregivers, Caregiving)

This is the first time I’ve written about my caregiver at length. I figure if she sees this, we’ll have (another) of the mild arguments we’ve been having lately.

We’ve been friends for a decade, she’s been my roomie and caregiver (unpaid 😦 ) since 2000. It ain’t cuz I’m cheap, it’s because in Colorado you basically have to be making 550 a month or less to get paid caregiving, and have a social worker and be on Medicaid

When she got off SSI and went to work, she had hideous asthma and smoked like a factory. She quit.

She began smoking again in 2006. She has severe asthma still, and the smoking makes it hard. She could potentially lose her job if she’s absent too much from this….She’s still on nighttime oxygen…All of this has been explained to her in words of one syllable both by her docs and me.

She’s got uncontrolled Type II Diabetes that hasn’t gotten too bad yet.

She’s been saying recently, not surprisingly, that she’s feeling stressed and overburdened. She admits, it’s not likely that she’ll quit smoking or get dilligent about her blood sugar, so, that means that her ability to *be* a caregiver will end sooner rather than later…Because of that stress, she supports a possible move back to Ohio, (Akron, Kent, Columbus) next May, if jobs can be found, because she knows that I have family there…Neither of us expects any of them to take over the unpaid cargiving gig at this juncture…they’d resent it. But as far as me going and socializing with them and having them take me off my caregiver’s hands for a weekend, she’s looking forward to that.

Yep, when I landed in the chair, she’s had to do more things for me (thankfully no ‘hygeine’ related stuff yet ewww.) It involves loading and unloading the manual chair more often, basically and pushing me places….

And, I can’t help it, I’m mad. On one level that’s ridiculous.  She’s been a big player in making sure I get where I need to get and do what I need to do… I’m no paragon either, I have things that I could be handling better…but the *smoking part* is what peeves me the most…

That could be stopped.

I’ve seen the endgame of uncontrolled diabetes, I don’t want to see that again, but as a fellow food addict, I have just as much trouble getting out from behind the old tape that changing *that* is impossible.

I’ve also seen the endgame of what happens when somebody decides to ignore  their own body.

Before I leave the planet, is it possible I can live with someone who can *take care of themselves* so that helping me isn’t some huge impossiblity…maybe not.  Maybe that’s just not in my cards.

We’ve discussed just me going back, and her staying here…but neither of us can afford that, financially. Two apartments instead of one out here might help us lose *weight* (so we don’t keep sabotaging each other, laugh) She wants to move to an apartment with more amenities, and I want to move to a more accessible one, but rents just don’t allow that, and I cannot handle laundry or trash removal by myself anymore. Everything else, in good weather, I could handle alone…

I try to schedule things, to go off on my own and do my own stuff when she’s obviously ready for me not to be there, and she does the same for me.

It just isn’t quite enough…

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