August 8, 2007 at 7:47 PM (Falling)

Snark and satire alert, please…take note…

Atheists, please feel free to insert your phrase of choice for ‘God’



One of your followers recently told me that my increasing level of impairment is directly proportional to the amount  humility I have been ‘forced’ to exhibit.

In other words, that you, God, are suddenly at this late date dissatisfied with the curt, snappish, quickwitted chunky gimp that you, in fact, created, and would rather see a kinda lame rippoff of Tiny Tim, crossed with an appealingly needy old woman with an angelic face…

There is, of course the little matter of the fact that I was thrown to my knees this morning…redstate types may have actually thought I’d been driven to pray, when in fact a tricky transfer maneuver went awry and I ended up falling in front of my wheelchair as opposed to falling into it…

In the work parking lot in front of many concerned persons…

I called the pros, 911, to haul me up and put me back in the chair….and when I get furious, I cry, which makes me look even more pathetic.

Which they did, but not before they had done a job on my back by twisting me in directions I’m not built to go in.

And the *staring.*

No one was evil, but I wish the parking lot had swallowed me up, before I had to appear vulnerable in front of these people…

One someone, meaning nothing but kindness, whispered “I’ts not a crime to ask for help, and it’s not a crime to need it…”


Humility…not my best feature….especially when I am ‘forced’ into it…

But, you, God, knew that already….

So what’s with the public humiliation???

Just curious…



  1. bridgett said,

    You’re supposed to be glad that God hasn’t killed your cattle, your kids, your spouse, leveled your country, burned your house….no, wait, that’s Job…

    I am always alarmed when God’s “followers” presume to know God’s mind so inerrantly.

    So, as a point of information, is it preferable to be assisted by pros at this point? (Before I flip my shit that everyone just stood around in the parking lot gawking instead of stepping in to do something useful…I hope someone at least got you some water and kept the sun off you.) Is it more a “don’t want my co-workers pawing around on me” thing (I totally get that), something that has come with the multiplication of conditions that makes it hard for by-standers to intervene effectively, fear of being sued if they get hurt in the process of aiding you, or a concern for being twisted up funny by people who don’t know what they are doing?

  2. imfunny2 said,

    I have come to the point of simply calling 911 each time I fall (usually once or twice a year max) because they have expertise….

    “Three guys and a backboard please gentlemen. I’ve not been injured but due to my size I cannot get up at all, and I have CP and that complicates matters…”

    They all *wanted* to help, but I figured best to have somebody who is trained in lifting do it…

    Also I didn’t want the co-workers closer to me to see *more* of my pathetic looking redfaced weeping, which was not about injury, it was about anger…but it all looks the same on the outside…

  3. misscripchick said,

    so maybe i’m wrong in this but i would have been so annoyed by the it’s-okay-to-need-help woman. a few weeks ago my friend and i were riding the metro and her wheel popped off and she fell to the ground. people wouldn’t believe her when she said she knew how to fix her own chair, instead they stood around and tried to tell HER what she needed to do…

    it irks me…

    anyways, i think i’m in love with your blog. 🙂

  4. imfunny2 said,

    :0 Thanks

  5. Attila the Mom said,

    Jesus H. Christ on a crutch. Somebody needs to poke that follower with a pointy stick! Grrrr.

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