The housekeeping continues…

August 4, 2007 at 11:32 AM (Uncategorized)

but, like an intermittently healthy electrical circuit,  I have to take a minute every now and again…

Mobility is one of those things that is judged, valued measured, so often that you begin to think it necessary to carry a laptop loaded with a spreadsheeter so you can explain your varying levels of mobility to someone…

“What did you do this weekend?”

“I did the laundry.”

“No, I mean, *what did you really do!*

*I* *did* *the* *laundry,* (In a particularly forceful tone of voice that the ex boyfriend, referring to my astrological sign liked to refer to as my “Scorpio Voice.”)

I’m not pity partying.

I’m saying.

To take out the trash, handle the laundry, clean, sweep and tackle that most unlovely of cleaning tasks, the bathroom…

It takes longer.  *That’s all*  no value judgement on whether that’s good or bad…

It actually makes me nervous to clean when someone else is home, because if they perceive themselves as better able to handle the task than I,  they take it over and push me away.  I loathe that.

Longer, and slower is evidently Bad on it’s face.

No, it’s not…

It is a different way…

That’s all.

What I’m trying to do here is help out the roomate, who is in  the middle of working eight days straight with no weekend, so that the parts I can really no longer do at all  are the only things that are left for them to do.

When someone gives me that revolting pity stare, I just want to say…”I’m working for a living I’m paying bills I’m as perky as I can stand to be during said endless public interface job…. ”  what am I not doing?  Please enlighten me as to the 63 other things that will make me acceptable to relate with..”

and I make too much now to get a for Real PCA, so I have to do what I can when I can *in the way that best suits me,* so quit making that face that looks like you ate a lime or something and tell me a funny story, or yak about whatever…

I also find it difficult to hear the endless number of tasks achieved by the able around me…

More subconscious attitude that just *having a job* and going and doing it and helping out whith the rest when I can is *not enough*.



  1. bridgett said,

    I’d contend that whatever we do, whoever we are, feels like *not enough*. And whatever is left undone that gets us the thoughtless “so, Mom, do I have any shorts clean?” flies all over us. You’ve got the double-burden of having to perform “supposed to be independent-earner single Superwoman” and “supposed to minimize the appearance of physical difference” — yes, it bites — but the general phenomenon is experienced by any woman anywhere in a patriarchal society, whatever her ability. Yet another reason why it pisses me off when feminist theorists do not work towards that place where hierarchies of inequality intersect.

    You can always lie when people ask nosy questions. I suggest that you tell them you went skydiving.

  2. imfunny2 said,

    I’m so ashamed of myself now….I absolutely *know* that I drove my Mother (further into being) batty when I just assumed she had radar and could find whatever I lost…and as you know (sigh) I lose a lot of stuff…

    It isn’t Alzheimers, I’ve been daft and clueless about where I put something since I was well, I dunno. two….

  3. bridgett said,

    When Kid loftily informs me that I’m more unorganized than she is, I retort that this is because I am organizing her stuff and my stuff and part of Dad’s stuff. I anticipate that I will be able to be well-organized only when I’ve boiled my possessions down to a bundle bag and a blanket and live by myself in a yurt.

    It’s not the being asked that gets me. It’s the casual expectation behind it — that I’ve been expected to just have everything done and read minds and do this all while also doing the bajillion other things I’ve already done during the day. There really isn’t any upper limit to what people around us will expect of us. I’m learning to accept that this is intended to be a compliment (we really seem to be super-capable to them) or at worst unreflective (they don’t bother thinking it through at all because they are self-involved) rather than actively insulting.

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