Old friends…

July 5, 2007 at 6:54 PM (Friends)

I’m thinking of that lyric in an old Simon and Garfunkel song…

“Old friends…they mean much more to me than the new friends…” Sometimes that’s true.

This is another post that I need to puzzle over

How to write about things with no identifying details

I heard from/about three old friends this week…the first I hear from infrequently, but as always she is doing shockingly well…another overachiever who is never satisfied unless she’s doing six things at once…

Heard news regarding another friend that has dropped off my radar and never communicates with me directly…but, happily her newest job and her life are great too.

And the third is one I don’t commuicate with very often…but when I do I’m always glad to hear of her family and her children…I got an email very late last evening that I didn’t pull till just now, and discovered that her mom had passed away…and the funeral was today…

I’m puzzling about what to send because the belief system is quite different from those I know more about, but I’ll send something…

I’m hoping the communication is seen as a positive thing…since we don’t connect too often…

Everyone has friends that they used to be close to…and they and you make choices about how and when to connect based on your current life…

I’m glad my email /phonewas still stuck somewhere in the online address book of some of these folks, even if we aren’t as connected as we used to be…

But I’m still wondering when (or if) I want that to change…

And, then I get guilty and think that’s evil or something…

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2 Comments

  1. bridgett said,

    I think it’s harder when the old friends try to lurch back in after twenty years’ or so absence — they have trouble allowing you to be different in the ways that time has changed you to be. We have a mutual acquaintance that continues to think of me as the promiscuous ditz he thought he knew in our u-grad days. Well, clearly, I’m not that…but we interact so infrequently that he has trouble remembering that I’m not that person any more (if, indeed, I ever was). Even people who maintain ties at a distance, like us, can be unaware of some major life changes because they don’t come up, or they are easy to elide because one doesn’t feel the need to justify or explain.

    But I’ll confess. There are some u-grad friends that have attempted to rekindle friendship and I have been uncooperative and made myself unavailable. Too much baggage, then and now, and one has to spend one’s emotional energies in things likely to be rewarded with pleasure, not aggravation and buckets of weirdness. That’s not evil. That’s just common sense.

  2. hymes said,

    Don’t mind me, I’ve been meditating on the thought that people aren’t replaceable/interchangable all week, but I say if there’s any hope of rekindling your friendships, go for it, while they’re still here.

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