Merit

June 19, 2007 at 5:11 PM (Uncategorized)

So, no answer from certain doc’s yet….

I’m back at this job tomorow, this job that pays the bills and at which I partially suck (most of the time)  (I’m also partially decent, but in the cubicle world, partially gets you nothing….)

I feel like I’m at what they used to call a Hobson’s Choice

my meds haven’t been tweaked yet, because every doctor I speak to says I need to see another.

and the physical side is tenuous also, because I’m having to lessen what I take….

Pressure from various sides to take various positions…refile for disability, go back to work…

And I’m trying to objectively ascertain which of these stupid choices (because they are both dumb) has the most merit.

I do know this.

“Merit” is one of those artificial constructs.  Like “Useful”

“Productive”

Or the subtext of

“On the dole” etc etc.

Not to mention the increase in persons who designate me as evil because I’ve had to make a decision I deem necessary and not speak with a family member unless/until their situation changes

Brother.  Self-reliance is the real b!tch here.

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