Permissible behavior

June 17, 2007 at 9:32 AM (Uncategorized)

I’ve lost a fight with my docs, and can’t return to work until Wednesday…

People who only know me from Colorado and only know me offline…don’t know…

I have this huge temper.

In 1994 I destroyed a brass standing lamp…breaking the lightbulb was the easy part…bending the brass took about twenty minutes of using my upper body as leverage….

and the aftermath of the attack of rage was merely annoying, because I had to pick every shard of metal or light bulb out of the carpet. (think amusing picture of someone with no motor skills trying to force fine motor coordination enough to pick up shards of lightbulb or metal…)

My childhood didn’t give rise to a physical abuser.  I could no more hit a person than I could fly…

But inanimate objects are not safe when I’m angry.

One’s temper is not permitted when one deals with the public.

I know this, and usually I’m quite able to put my emotions in a box for eight hours, do the job and go home..

When I go back, I will do the same thing….

This is the time I’m truly grateful to be childless too, because even more than on a job, strategies have to be employed almost without fail to keep the peace, even when angry at a child, to make sure they understand when they screw up without making them afraid of their own parent…

I’m trying to pick up scattered coping mechanisms, and (ironically) am dealing with some heat from some relations that I hadn’t called lately….

I’ll settle back into permissible behavior soon I’m sure…

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