How I’ve felt about work/school since’87

June 13, 2007 at 2:52 PM (Education, Employment, illness) (, )

Is distilled in this post

The most relevant paragraph for me:

We also feel that way because of the often wildly varying strengths and weaknesses. It’s hard for others to understand just why a person can seem intelligent, and be able to do some things so well (even very complex things), and yet fail to be able to do the “simplest” things that “everyone can do”. Or, not be able to do them consistently. You just can’t feel confident when you never know when your brain and/or your body is going to unexpectedly fail you. Especially if you’ve not had difficulties diagnosed, and don’t know why those glitches happen.

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I’m not empathetic

June 13, 2007 at 11:12 AM (Uncategorized)

One of those Not Nice Attributes…

On days like today when a stomach virus takes my normal gut troubles and increases them by a factor of about six, I have to grouse in an even Nastier tone then I usually do, thus cementing an online and offline reputation as a Bitter Judgemental B*tch

I just don’t understand people who live in nice houses have lovely spouses and have the access and means to Significantly Improve Their Life, and won’t do it.

I haven’t got the time for guilt, even if I should.

I get emails telling me I just have to *Wish* at improvement in my life and it will show up.

(Trust me.  If it didn’t show up for my late spouse I don’t need whatever wimpy-ass version of ‘wish therapy’ is being peddled now.)

I need a clearer map to just what is my own damn fault and what will never be….

Why am I told I am too stubborn to ask for help, when the circle of offline persons who are geographically close by is beginning to be numbered in the “so small they could dance on a head of a pin,” variety.

I love my friends, all of them, I really do, but sometimes the amazing lists of things that overachievers can get done are intimidating…so I skip them.

I *know* millions have it worse than me.  When I’m doing better I smack myself upside the head with that. Often.

When I’m in these pissy moods, the only thing that makes me smile is that I *know* two of my ex love interests also now suffer from extreme depression/mental health moments. (along with any physical junk they may have acquired with age.)

And, I smile evilly, and am actually *glad* about it.

(Told ya I wasn’t nice.)

It’s tough to come from a family that includes/included

Physics and Math experts.

Award winning Educators

Triathletes.

Reki instructors who are 55 and look 32.

Therapists who are close to 70 and look 55.

Maybe I won’t be the Wicked Witch of the East by Friday.

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