As per usual…able progresssives
don’t think it all the way through…
is a great distinction between who women are “supposed” to be…and who they are…but…
For disabled women I believe the distinction goes a bit further…
Femininity is the thing that makes both the feminists and non feminists uncomfortable when seen as a clear aspect of a disabled woman.
If we *wish* that traditional idea, we cannot have it.
And in many cases if we ‘reject’ the traditional it’s as if we’re giving an extra shove to something that is already out of our sphere…not by our own choice but by the ‘comfort zone’ of the able.
Feminism is that thing, that path to power over yourself and your life…that feminists in theory should want to extend as a welcoming hand to disabled women…many do…but when we admit to being sexual the discomfort is evident, even on the left. When we admit to genuine fear that our lives might be ended without our consent…immediately we are either automatically making common cause with the right, or labeled its clueless tools.
If there is to be a complete discussion of “Femininity” by feminists, it needs to include the group who are often *never* thought of as feminine. Exclusion from femininity and/or exclusion from full acceptance and participation in feminism is the barrier that hits us first.
Midlife And Treachery 
