My funny Valentine

February 4, 2006 at 1:15 PM (Uncategorized) (, )

I’m going to answer a question that I never responded to.

There was a homeless guy that yelled a question accross the street to me one morning in my midwestern home town as I was walking to work:

“Hey, can you have sex?”

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Valentine’s approaches…and inspired by a post elswhere I’m doing a bit of reminiscing. Family members may want to steer clear because even twenty or thirty years later this may be too much information.

My first boyfriend and myself had talked for hours two days before on the phone, in a strange sudden reconnect that was wonderful and terrifying all at once. We had not spoken since I was fifteen. But we were laughing at the same things. Again. Finishing each others sentences…

He came to the house that day…it was a Tuesday and I was twenty three. My mother was off on a weeks vacation.

But he had kissed me once or twice back then, and I remembered them.
I’d found other’s kisses pleasant enough, but his…well I can’t explain it.

Hollywood likes to discuss chemistry. Ordinary people have it too, and chemistry is almost never linked to Whom Your Family Believes You Ought To Partner Up With and it is difficult to dismiss…or control…especially when you are twenty three.

Well, we did a lot of talking for a long long while. And he kissed me again.
*Slam!* There was that chemistry thing again, and objective observers would certainly have said at the time that I was quite capable of being normal rational and sensible and seeing him for dinner the following week and taking it slowly and so on…

Yeah, right.

And bless him, he even backed off and chatted some more, giving off a vibe of honest patience when my nerves about what was coming (I didn’t feel at all coerced. Just nervy.) caused me to flee to the restroom, become abominably sick and come out in a housecoat was appropriate for a grandmother….He wasn’t put off. He just laughed and chatted some more, until the ‘nerves’ had passed.

My first time with him, I was very lucky. He and I were completely alone in my house…it was peaceful, quiet and dim with no interruptions, and the best music for such things…one could be awkward, but not as self conscious or rushed or nervous as if there was a time limit…or a visitor expected. Time to learn one another well.

[Except of course for the nosy neighbor across the street who knew darn well what was happening just because well his car arrived at 12:30 pm and left at four ayem… and felt that *tattling* to my mother was so important, she accosted her *in our driveway* the moment my mother returned from her vacation. My own personal Gladys Kravitz. ]

My funny Valentine…my other half…I still have those days (rarer now but still there), when I wake up literally feeling as though half of my physical self had gone missing, and where in the heck is he and how do I get him back?…

Memories, I suppose. 🙂

What it all means is, and what I think is important to say straight out:

If disabled people are the perennial book judged by its cover, I believe that some see a person with disabilities and *by the fact of their impairment * (other issues of unattractiveness aside) decide they already know that story cover to cover and don’t need to open the book to read it. *Never assume. *

Disabled people wish for love, make love, fall in love, make the same mistakes for love.

We just have to…take our time… is all.

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Clasps for fumbly fingers

February 4, 2006 at 12:33 PM (Uncategorized) ()

….As I’ve gotten older and my life more boring and insular, I’ve had fewer chances to dress up and make a night out. … but, it isn’t just that.

One of the more fun things about evenings out is that they can involve jewelry…but clasps and earring backs have always bedeviled my uncoordinated grip. Now they’re even tougher because one wrist, well, let’s just say its strength is somewhere between sucks and nonexistent….

But, I understand there are magnetic clasps available for both necklaces and bracelets, simple to close, not requiring the “eye of the needle” dexterity, and very very unlikely to come undone on their own and slip off the neck or the wrist.

Now, if I could just find the right party …

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