Digital Lit

August 31, 2006 at 8:21 pm (downloads)

When computers showed up, those little card catalog drawers were the first to go. Microfiche still exists, but after Online Catalogs came online waiting lists at libraries,and online Oral History or Art Collections, Virtual Booklists, Online Universities and their course catalogs. Online graphic novels etc etc.

Well in another reality that used to be science fiction, Google has begun offering free downloads of public domain works. Go to Google and this is the information about this new service just begun yesterday.

Off to curl up with a mousepad and a good book.

I chose Aesop’s Fables

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How to approach this?

August 31, 2006 at 2:27 pm (Uncategorized)

I have an incredibly emotionally supportive family. I love them, and they love me.

I’ve been self sufficent for a great amount of my adult life. They’re proud of that.

But I remember a frank conversation when I moved out.

“I’ve always wanted and worked for your independence and you’ve achieved that. I’m proud of that. But it isn’t just pride, you need to understand that it’s selfish. It’s my goal, and has always been my goal that you be self-sufficient and move out at XX age, and I admit it’s a selfish goal, because I’m planning on moving on with my life at that time.”

And a frank moment (like I have those, she said in self-mockery) that *I* had with a family member in the mid Nineties, when I was newly widowed and living alone, and feeling quite as unhinged as I do now.

“What? Excuse me, but do you see *anyone* standing in line to take care of me? Anyone? Anyone at all? F*** NO! Because if I’ve figured *anything at all out* is that the world does not owe you S**T!”

I don’t want to give the impression that I’ve never felt supported. There are plenty of places within my family, and my broader family of choice that I often recieve encouraging email, or chat with on the phone, or help of other kinds when I have screwed up, and even when I haven’t…and I get reinforcement that I have value, and I’m loved. That I matter to them.

However, whether this is right or wrong of me, I often find myself irritated with the positive adjectives. Two separate family members, whom I adore, one on each side of the family recently told me I was, and I quote: “amazing.”

This is something I need to reiterate to the circle of people, however large or small that read this thing and also know me offline.

Now, I’m doing better than I was when I freaked a bit here earlier in the summer, for some obvious reasons and with appropriate interventions….but I still have this sense of dancing on a balance beam across the Grand Canyon.

So, for my offline associates: It’s important that you read this and *hear* and understand the implications of it. And please don’t get all hurt and upset. I don’t mean for that to happen. I’m not angry at anyone. I just wish to be understood.

(Deep breath)

I am running out of ways to be “amazing.” Those words, even well-intentioned and well meant seem to me sometimes to be an effort to camouflage the uncomfortable realities in my day to day existence.

I no longer qualify for assistance because I’ve been working.

All the conditions, that led to my going on disability still exist. Some have improved markedly. Some are not improving.

There will be a time, I anticipate in the next ten to twenty years, when I’ll be off work and fighting the Social Security bureacracy to believe in cerebral palsy that I still have no original records for, and that various impairments, gut problems and asthma have begun again to affect me so much that I’ll not be able to continue working. And then I’d imagine I will very rapidly cease to be amazing.

Please don’t expect ‘amazing’ to last forever.

Well, that’s all for now….

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Maybe Someday… [Updated]

August 30, 2006 at 6:25 pm (Uncategorized) ()

Someone who is presently on the other side of this nation’s politics will come up to me, and advise me that they read this speech from a mainstream media newsperson I admire, and tell me that they never understood why I moved left…but that they do now…

Go here to download either Windows Media or other versions to save, share, discuss and pass along.

These are not the words of a scholar. He’s an infotainment news guy. But…he’s earnest…and he’s afraid for this country. I am too.

Thank you, Keith Olbermann for the words below. The transcript of Mr. Olbermanns opinion reads in full:

“The man who sees absolutes, where all other men see nuances and shades of meaning, is either a prophet, or a quack.
Donald H. Rumsfeld is not a prophet.

Mr. Rumsfeld’s remarkable speech to the American Legion yesterday demands the deep analysis—and the sober contemplation—of every American.

For it did not merely serve to impugn the morality or intelligence — indeed, the loyalty — of the majority of Americans who oppose the transient occupants of the highest offices in the land. Worse, still, it credits those same transient occupants — our employees — with a total omniscience; a total omniscience which neither common sense, nor this administration’s track record at home or abroad, suggests they deserve.

Dissent and disagreement with government is the life’s blood of human freedom; and not merely because it is the first roadblock against the kind of tyranny the men Mr. Rumsfeld likes to think of as “his” troops still fight, this very evening, in Iraq.

It is also essential. Because just every once in awhile it is right and the power to which it speaks, is wrong.

In a small irony, however, Mr. Rumsfeld’s speechwriter was adroit in invoking the memory of the appeasement of the Nazis. For in their time, there was another government faced with true peril—with a growing evil—powerful and remorseless.

That government, like Mr. Rumsfeld’s, had a monopoly on all the facts. It, too, had the “secret information.” It alone had the true picture of the threat. It too dismissed and insulted its critics in terms like Mr. Rumsfeld’s — questioning their intellect and their morality.
That government was England’s, in the 1930’s.

It knew Hitler posed no true threat to Europe, let alone England.
It knew Germany was not re-arming, in violation of all treaties and accords.
It knew that the hard evidence it received, which contradicted its own policies, its own conclusions — its own omniscience — needed to be dismissed.

The English government of Neville Chamberlain already knew the truth.

Most relevant of all — it “knew” that its staunchest critics needed to be marginalized and isolated. In fact, it portrayed the foremost of them as a blood-thirsty war-monger who was, if not truly senile, at best morally or intellectually confused.

That critic’s name was Winston Churchill.

Sadly, we have no Winston Churchills evident among us this evening. We have only Donald Rumsfelds, demonizing disagreement, the way Neville Chamberlain demonized Winston Churchill.

History — and 163 million pounds of Luftwaffe bombs over England — have taught us that all Mr. Chamberlain had was his certainty — and his own confusion. A confusion that suggested that the office can not only make the man, but that the office can also make the facts.
Thus, did Mr. Rumsfeld make an apt historical analogy.

Excepting the fact, that he has the battery plugged in backwards.
His government, absolute — and exclusive — in its knowledge, is not the modern version of the one which stood up to the Nazis.
It is the modern version of the government of Neville Chamberlain.
But back to today’s Omniscient ones.
That, about which Mr. Rumsfeld is confused is simply this: This is a Democracy. Still. Sometimes just barely.
And, as such, all voices count — not just his.
Had he or his president perhaps proven any of their prior claims of omniscience — about Osama Bin Laden’s plans five years ago, about Saddam Hussein’s weapons four years ago, about Hurricane Katrina’s impact one year ago — we all might be able to swallow hard, and accept their “omniscience” as a bearable, even useful recipe, of fact, plus ego.

But, to date, this government has proved little besides its own arrogance, and its own hubris.
Mr. Rumsfeld is also personally confused, morally or intellectually, about his own standing in this matter. From Iraq to Katrina, to the entire “Fog of Fear” which continues to envelop this nation, he, Mr. Bush, Mr. Cheney, and their cronies have — inadvertently or intentionally — profited and benefited, both personally, and politically.

And yet he can stand up, in public, and question the morality and the intellect of those of us who dare ask just for the receipt for the Emporer’s New Clothes?

In what country was Mr. Rumsfeld raised? As a child, of whose heroism did he read? On what side of the battle for freedom did he dream one day to fight? With what country has he confused the United States of America?

The confusion we — as its citizens— must now address, is stark and forbidding.
But variations of it have faced our forefathers, when men like Nixon and McCarthy and Curtis LeMay have darkened our skies and obscured our flag. Note — with hope in your heart — that those earlier Americans always found their way to the light, and we can, too.

The confusion is about whether this Secretary of Defense, and this administration, are in fact now accomplishing what they claim the terrorists seek: The destruction of our freedoms, the very ones for which the same veterans Mr. Rumsfeld addressed yesterday in Salt Lake City, so valiantly fought.

And about Mr. Rumsfeld’s other main assertion, that this country faces a “new type of fascism.”

As he was correct to remind us how a government that knew everything could get everything wrong, so too was he right when he said that — though probably not in the way he thought he meant it.

This country faces a new type of fascism - indeed.

Although I presumptuously use his sign-off each night, in feeble tribute, I have utterly no claim to the words of the exemplary journalist Edward R. Murrow.

But never in the trial of a thousand years of writing could I come close to matching how he phrased a warning to an earlier generation of us, at a time when other politicians thought they (and they alone) knew everything, and branded those who disagreed: “confused” or “immoral.”

Thus, forgive me, for reading Murrow, in full:

‘We must not confuse dissent with disloyalty,” he said, in 1954. “We must remember always that accusation is not proof, and that conviction depends upon evidence and due process of law.
“‘We will not walk in fear, one of another. We will not be driven by fear into an age of unreason, if we dig deep in our history and our doctrine, and remember that we are not descended from fearful men, not from men who feared to write, to speak, to associate, and to defend causes that were for the moment unpopular’”.
And so good night, and good luck.’”

Let me be quite clear. The above words aren’t mine, I just linked to his blog and quoted them out of respect. My view is not as exact as his, but I share enough of the opinion above to have quoted it.

There have been other, more restrained calls for Mr. Rumsfeld’s resignation as well

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Update #2

August 30, 2006 at 5:13 pm (Uncategorized)

From Big Fat Blog:

“Update No. 2!: Well, a nice, nice turnaround has taken place here. Check out the comments: the current issue of the paper (no online link yet, apparently) includes very fat-positive responses, along an apology from Karla Starr. She’s also been answering all emails (per BFBers’ experiences) and has definitely changed her tune. Way to go to everyone who wrote in and handled this tactfully! And thanks to Karla Starr for listening and being open to discussing things further. Excellent.”

I have emailed Ms. Starr commending her and the paper for apologizing.

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A "Journalist" actually got paid [Updated!]

August 28, 2006 at 12:19 pm (Idiocy, On Being Fat)

to write this

I found this via Big Fat Blog.

And unfortunately for me and for the “journalist” in question, this was the original text that generated my answer

Are you a fatty? Want to be in a book? Waddle over to a computer, grab your typing stick (those sausage fingers hit too many keys at once, don’t they?), go to stacybias.net, and fill out the contact form for your chance to contribute to Bias’ FatGirl Speaks, a short-fiction anthology inspired by her event of same name.

I then emailed the editor:

Karla Starr, one of your reporters obviously thinks fat people haven’t been treated like acceptable scapegoats for *everything.*, society’s losers for long enough . Obviously she feels writing like the paragraph above is appropriate language to use describing to anyone who is overweight. She felt that in order to promote author Stacy Bias’ project she had to say this.

Here’s my answer included in the email and cc:d to the reporter:

Are you a fatty?

Yes and I’ve been working to be Healthy At Any Size (HAES to the uninitiated) since I was 17. I’m 44 now.

Want to be in a book?

Possibly, as long as Karla Starr won’t be one of the contributors. I don’t want my story mangled by the arrogant, nasty, ignorant, egregiously stupid prose above that you make the mind numbing mistake of paying her to write.

Waddle over to a computer,

Fat people, like thin people *Walk* to their computers.

grab your typing stick (those sausage fingers hit too many keys at once, don’t they?)

Oh. Okay. Demean fat people with the “sausage” remark *and* piss off those of us with disabilities for which typing sticks are important tools to level the playing field.

Yeah I’m a dual eligible. A heavyset woman with disabilities I’ve had from birth.

go to stacybias.net, and fill out the contact form for your chance to contribute to Bias’ FatGirl Speaks, a short-fiction anthology inspired by her event of same name.

Now, this paragraph shows some promise. She should have stuck with the facts (name of website, name of anthology.) It might have gotten her a C- passing grade in any Journalism 101 Class. Because, while factual, that paragraph, like the rest of the sewage in the piece, shows not an ounce of creativity, inspiration, positive humor, or a sense of who Stacy’s (the author of the project, not the author of this ridiculous blurb) target audience really are–human beings of any size worthy of respect because they are human.

Update 6:05 pm MDT:

Karla Starr has sent me a letter. There are a number of reasons I will not publish it here…a nearly identical response did get published in the comments to the post over at Big Fat Blog

I’m going to try and be as fair as I can without going so far as to publish her response. My reasons for not publishing it will become clear.

First, from my side I’ll admit to a vitriol in tone that far outweighed the importance of what anyone thought about that piece. So, for about a fifth of the intensity of my response, I apologize. Also it takes courage to admit an error, and if what I received is genuine, I admire her for having been forthright about her mistake.

Ms. Starr’s letter seems effusive….she makes a point of several items:

One: When written, Ms. Starr thought the piece “sarcastic” and “funny”

Two: She (and by implication her superiors), expected laughter rather than rage.

Three: She put down some of it to her own body issues.

Four: She apologized at length

… but this is the reason I’m not comfortable publishing it.

On the Internets, and email, there is always a difficulty regarding the tone of an email. On the surface it “reads” as genuine upset and a conciliatory move in the right direction…And, I’ll allow that I could be completely offbase with my cynical mistrust of same.

This could be a genuine “lightbulb” moment for the editor of the paper and perhaps Ms. Starr as well. I hope so.

But, there were ostensibly editors and controls in place that would have reviewed the original before it went out….So if someone put together this lovely piece of writing in order to avoid any more pointed verbal darts being directed at the Willamette Weekly, and those who report therefrom…

*While* they were writing it, if they continued to mentally snicker behind their hands at the project they discussed and the fat persons involved…

On the off chance that they are now merely continuing to believe and disseminate privately what they eschew publicly in a well written apology, then if I published her apology, I’d be just another candidate for “Ha! She actually *bought* that fairytale…You owe me a beer!” etc.

Fool me once…shame on you.

Fool me twice. Shame on me.

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